Home for Wayward Sluts: On Punishment http://kinkunveiled.blogspot.ca/?zx=8dcd321b700cd6d8

Tuesday, 15 October 2013

On Punishment



Punishment is a tool of the Dom for training the behavour of his slaves. It is a means for reinforcing the behaviours that you wish for her to do, as well as for punishing her for poor behaviour. Punishment can be confused with things like discipline and sadism so I will clarify these differences.  I will talk about when to employ punishment and why.  It is also important to discuss how to employ the punishment so it helps her remember and change the undesired behavior. And finally, a Dom must accept the punishment as the full repayment for the misdeed and be completely forgiving of her afterwards.  

Punishment is, at it's essence, the heavy hand of behaviour modification.  If she keeps doing something that's bad for her (eating chocolate bars and drinking coke, for example) and she just can't quit on her own...a little fear of the immediate consequences goes a long way in eliminating the behaviour.  Of course, punishment can also be used for extreme bad behavior - like lying to your Master. And the way it is enforced makes it extremely clear to your little girl what pleases -- and what displeases you. 

Yes, that is ice.

There is a difference between discipline and punishment. Discipline is training the mind and body so that she learns and becomes accustomed to various actions.  It is the demanding of her holding certain positions, keeping good posture, grooming, etc. And re-enforcing these commands with a strict eye to see they are performed correctly. If they are not, then punishment can come into play, but discipline may be accomplished without any punishment.

It is important to employ punishment so that the slave clearly knows that you are displeased with her and exactly what displeased you.  She wants to know what it is you want and desire so she can do that for you...so it is extremely important to punish her as needed so she knows exactly when and why she's fucked up.  It is a lot easier on her to punish her than to leave her guessing. 

Additionally, she should be trying to please you. Part of the dynamic is she is challenged by you to please you. IF you are too soft on her or -- lord knows we've all seen guys do this: becoming so enthralled with the girl that he becomes a bore.  Punishment is like the opposite of this. ;)

Now it is important to employ punishment every time you are conscious of the bad behaviour that you have previously instructed her on.  Every single time.  Being inconsistent in your punishment is a big no no and leaves things murky in her mind as to what is and what is not acceptable. She may screw up unintentionally and you may have a tendency to forgive her. DON'T.  You're sending her mixed messages and being too soft. You can punish her less but you must punish her still.

If she purposefully does something wrong -- she is testing you. Personally, this makes me bonkers and I tend to go overboard in discouraging this kind of BS.  I will punish the shit out of her for fucking up on purpose and make sure that she knows that is far worse than the misdemeanor that she did to test me. Far far far worse. (Have I mentioned that brats piss me and make me violently angry? ha ha.  But seriously, I want to beat the hell out of them but if they are a painslut then...fuck!)

Always keep the goal in mind. The goal of punishment is to improve her behavior and ideally, remove it entirely. So focus all your actions on training her and by verbally instructing her as you punish her. Be sure to address the faulty thinking that has lead her to the bad behaviour.  Pay special attention to figuring out your slave's mindset and what is causing her to turn to this habit -- and address that. 

Sometimes all it takes is the humiliation of being lockup up
with another girl. Other times she needs her bladder filled first.
What is punishment?  Of course punishment can be inflicting any sort of physical pain such as spanking, flogging, paddling, clamping.  But it can also be anything you know you slave finds particularly unpleasant or humiliating.  Punishment can be confinement in a cage or a closet. Or punishment can be challenging for her like holding difficult positions while time her...punishing her physically if she fails to hold and maintain the position. Punishment can be useful like making her do laundry or dishes. Or  punishment can be the denial of something (think 'no internet' or 'no texting') -- and the worst punishment I have in my vocabulary as a Dom is denying her orgasms for an extended period (this is particularly effective as my slaves are accustomed to cumming at the very least 20 times as day on a barren desert of a day.)  

When to employ punishment.  The best time is immediately after the behavior is observed -- as in 1 second. Immediately. Address the behavour so it doesn't become a habit or so the habit changes.  The second answer to this is, always. It's one of you main jobs as a Dom to be vigilant and looking out for you slave to help better her. Whenever you instruct her, be as specific as possible.  

How to punish your slave. Mentally address the behavior and speak to it as you punish her
Sometimes you have to get creative.
for small infractions.  For a large infraction -- it may call for a punishment session. This should be done soon after where possible.  However, a small gap in time may be useful to send you slave off to ponder what it is she has done and anticipate the punishment.  Have you slave return and apologetically present herself for punishment because she needs and deserves it.  Then punish her and during the punishment, interrogate her to discover her mindset and address this as you continue to punish her. Be sure she understands that you are punishing her to improve her and that you are holding her to a higher standard than she has been accustomed to hold herself.  You are doing this for her benefit. When the punishment is over, send her away to ponder the lessons you taught her. And then, finally, forgive her.  Yes, forgive her. She needs this...although you don't need to say anything to address this but in your heart, forgive her. Every time.

Water Under the Bridge.  After you have punished her -- you are done. You have hit her adn punished her. She knows she has displeased you and this is probably far worse than the punishment (if she as a worthwhile slave...most good submissives hate punishment for fucking up...and being corrected and verbally instructed during the punishment is all very tough on her.) So once she has been punished, you've done your job: never throw it in her face or bring it up repeatedly (that's being petty).  You've punished her as hard as you liked -- so it's your duty to forgive her fully (this is something that many vanilla relationships sorely lack.) It's like water that has flowed under the bridge. It's done and gone.  

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